I’m into writing but this is my first book review, I don’t know how to make one but I’ll try anyway. I’m also into reading but not books like this. I prefer blogs, essays, poems or shorter bundle of words that I can easily dig what’s in it. I am just caught by the fuss this book was making. So I joined the bandwagon. And it didn’t disappoint me. Not a little.
First, I don't know who John Green is. Never remember of getting familiar with his name. For me, you know a writer is effective when he is different from the character he chooses to star on his work and makes you disregard who he is. You know, his clearly a man with a son and a wife. Maybe a healthy man. But digs in to who Hazel is and what she should be in the novel. I don’t know. Maybe all other writers do that. This is the first time I’ve read a book like this. But I kinda think it was really powerful. To be able to put yourself in somebody’s shoe whom you never met yet.
As I flip the first few pages of the book, I got to know Hazel and her strength. She hates Support Group. Not "hate" hates, just hate. Haha. But you meet people when you least expect it. I perceived Hazel strength as a strength that is not measured of how heavy the burden or pain is or how much you feel it. The strength she has is not about tolerating the pain and becoming used to it or facing reality. Her strength is measured by her accepting everything that comes before, during and after the pain that was brought by reality. We absolutely see her as a sixteen year old girl with lung cancer trying to reserve herself from the world, reading a novel written by douche and broke writer, inhaling and exhaling through tubes and an inspiration for everyone who fights any battle not just cancer. But who sees her as a source of strength of the other characters in the novel. I see her that way. A strength of his mom and dad, Augustus, Isaac, Peter Van Houten, Augustus mom and dad when Gus died and most especially Lidewij.
For me there is a clear thin line between being an inspiration and a strength. Inspiration makes you realize things, strength lets you do it. Her curiosity made a very stable mark on the novel. The novel is all about representation and symbolism for me. Like, for once I’d never recall Hazel fighting or trying to survive from cancer. It was just her trying to make her lungs function as lungs if needed. She hated the motto of the Support Group “Live your best life today” but that is exactly what she’s doing. And everyone was the one who’s trying to fight for a permanent effect. She had this favorite book “An Imperial Affliction” that she’s eager about finding what happened to the characters. As I’ve said of how this book was about symbolism I view this as her trying to figure out what will happen to her and her mom. It’s never mentioned in the book tho but that’s how I perceived it to be. She’s so curious that it seemed very important, repressing the idea that she wanted to vision her future. Everyone wants to know what will happen ahead for them to prepare theirselves. And I see the point of unfinishing the book AIA, for people to make their own conclusions because no one really knows what will happen ahead of us.
And then there are Hazel’s parents. I didn’t know John Green but he sinked in to me when it comes to Hazel’s mom and dad. On how his dad was always the one crying and showing this soft side and her mom being so strong on things. Maybe that’s how John Green as a father. Isaac took the part of the typical love story of the perfectionists of not wanting to date an imperfect person. His love story with Monica is a depiction of what happens to the other side of the happily ever after and what’s happening in the real world. Most people now don’t love you with your flaws and weaknesses and all the imperfect things because most of them love you at your best, gets interested in you, then dates you and when things go off the shelf, leaves you with hanging promises. Let me quote one of Hazel’s dialogue to Isaac “sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them.” Everyone has this. We don't really get to realize the promises we make especially when we make them when we had this sudden burst of emotions.
Augustus parents were like Hazel’s. Supportive, protective, hopeful. Like any other parent in the world. Like mine as well. Lidewij, who unnoticeably drew a lot of strength from cancer patients (Hazel and Gus). Who is a great representation of anyone who is inspired by people who fight a battle they didn’t even choose. The moment she resigned and stood up for Hazel and Gus was a clear illustration where she got the guts to do it. Clearly, strength lets you do it. Then, Peter Van Houten. The douche writer who gives the main characters something to look forward to. His novel was never understood but clearly it ends really well for me. It’s like, you’re not meant to understand things until you felt them. And Augustus Waters, who gave the twist in the story. Never thought he’d die. It made me cry to feel Hazel at one point when she says “I’m thankful for our little infinity”. You know that your boyfriend is about to die is one but giving him a eulogy in his prefuneral is another. First time to hear it but that caught me so much. So much strength requires that. But Gus’ selflessness which he wasn’t conscious about makes me ask is there anyone else left out there like him? She’d thought of Hazel until his Last Good Day.
John Green made a very rare love story in a very complex situation and made it worth the hallucination. Like any other relationship, what Hazel and Gus’ have isn’t measured through time but through their genuine feelings.
“Little infinities” made me remember one of my notes that you can feel forever even just for a day. It’s the most sincere and genuine love that can bring you there. “Pain demands to be felt”, I’m really interested on where the writer drew his inspiration from. A reality that is shred into pieces to give everyone a bit of it. For me the love story of Hazel and Gus is a state in between on what everyone perceived to be a problem that is unsolved.
It’s not just about a boy and a girl who falls in love and stays in it. It’s about how life sees pain and how people define it. A girl who thought she’d die but never were mentioned in the novel (so we’d guess and conclude and make our own ending) and a boy who knew he’s already fine and could make a heroic change in the world where he unfortunately didn’t make (somehow). For me it’s also not just about life and death. Which we all give as a first impression because of the words “cancer” and “survive”. Cause clearly to me, the main characters has accepted what happened and what’s in store for them. It’s about the decision we make. And being accountable for it.
Reading the book makes me forgot it titled “Fault in our stars” except when I read Julius Caesar’s quote “The fault dear Brutus is not in our stars but in ourselves that we are underlings” because at some point stars will meet. This give “the world is not a wish granting factory” a lot of sense. When someone gives his work a title it’s not something that is made by his mind. It’s something that was made by his heart. Those made me think why he finished the book with Augustus letter to Van Houten? Maybe because he want us to think of a better ending for Hazel. Or he wants Hazel to find and explore her own star. Finding your own star means finding yourself. “My thought was stars and I can’t fathom into constellations.”
Lastly, we'll all die. We're all Hazel at some point loving a person who we know will eventually die. It's just that Hazel knew it before it happens, while we don't. Because that’s reality, we'll all leave a mark of scar to people. It just happens that Hazel and Gus were in a complex situation that they both know how soon they have left. They were a bit lucky enough to have prepared for it, emotionally and physically. And us, we didn't know when and where its going to end. We didn't have any clue. But we all will end up like Augustus Waters just with a different story and there will be someone out there who'll going to be Hazel Grace Lancaster but just with a different amount of grief and perception of pain. For me this book isn’t just about life and death. The words are shallow to dig for. I can say it’s about living and dying and what comes in between because life includes the death itself and what happens after it. It’s impossible for someone to live forever but it’s possible for someone to live with the pain especially if that pain is the only thing they'll have to have a piece of you.
Let me end this by quoting one of my favorite from Augustus Waters “you don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you have some say in who hurts you.” Bravo John Green!
Nota Bene: this is my personal review and intake about the book.